The Power of Vulnerability
Hi Friends and Family,
I hope your holiday season has been filled with lots of love and joy. I recently shared a part of my own personal story with the world. This was an incredibly tough decision, but I’ve received an overwhelming response from family, friends, and strangers. My hope is that our story will help others heal, while reminding us how far we’ve come.
The article, published by YourTango, “My Husband's Tragic Accident Tested My Marriage Vows,” is about my husband and my journey after his near-death accident three years ago and a glance into our life including the struggles that almost severed our marriage. But this article is also about second chances, hope, and finding love again. I’ll be honest, sharing personal details about my life was terrifying. I went back and forth with the decision to finish the article.
Did I want to share personal details of our lives?
Could I be this vulnerable?
Writing fiction, I create characters who are vulnerable, flawed, round, and human. But this is me. Erica. And, my husband. My kids. These aren’t characters.
This is my story.
Brene Brown said, “Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing we’ll ever do.”
I decided if I’m going through these trying times, others are too, and maybe through my story, they’ll find hope and healing too. When I saw my article published for the first time, I cried. I did it—I took a step forward to share my story. To be vulnerable. To connect. To heal. I felt like a weight had lifted and I could finally breathe.
Yesterday, a long-time associate from work reached out to me and told me how much she connected with my article and how one day my kids would look at my husband and I and tell us how amazing and proud they are of us for our bravery and resilience. I cried happy tears. To this woman, you know who you are, thank you from the bottom of my heart.
The next step in my journey is finishing my memoir, which inspired this article. My memoir catalogues our life from the accident to a year later—our ten-year anniversary. During this extremely challenging time in my life, I started writing something personal—a journal capturing the highs and lows and everything in between. I never meant for the tear-splotched journal to be something I’d share publicly. It was a form of catharsis—a way for me to express myself, my frustration, and my sorrow privately.
But one day (around January 2021), I was talking to one of my critique partner’s and told her I was struggling to move forward with a manuscript I was working on because I was filling pages in my journal. I’d also recently read a few memoirs including Glennon Doyle’s book, Untamed, which were incredible. My critique partner asked if I planned on sharing my story. At that time, I wasn’t sure. I just needed to get everything out. To write.
But after talking to her, I considered how I would feel sharing my story. With a little bravery, I sent her the first chapter. She emailed me back ten minutes later and wrote, “I am so proud of you. This is poignant and beautiful, and heartbreaking and hopeful. You need to share your story.”
A few weeks later, I was volunteering at my son’s school and began talking to a mom while we were waiting for the kids to arrive on the soccer field for school Olympics. She told me she was happy to be outside with all the kids that day because she was having a tough time at home with her father who had Alzheimers. I shared that I, too, was happy to be there and was also going through a trying time. And for the first time, I shared my story with a stranger and told her that I was a writer. She told me I should keep writing and that she’d love to read my memoir when I was through. Her reaction was so validating and further inspired me to keep pushing forward just like everyone who commented, called, and reached out after I published my article a few weeks ago. Your support has overwhelmed me with gratitude.
If you haven’t read my article and would like to, the link for my article is below.
https://www.yourtango.com/love/husband-tragic-accident-tested-marriage-vows
Until next time, I send you love.
xo